Why do companies do this? Imagine going to the coffee shop, and asking for a cup of coffee. Instead of serving you the cup of coffee, the barista acknowledges that you probably asked for a cup of coffee, and then goes on to tell you about all the other stuff they sell. You repeat your request, and the barista (clearly baffled at this point as to why you’d ask for coffee in a coffee shop) again acknowledges that you’ve probably asked for coffee, but just wants to make double sure that you really want coffee.

Sounds like a frustrating experience, right? And clearly something no company would ever do, right? I thought so, until I tried the customer service line for GAP. Here’s a rough transcript for my call, where I needed to talk to a human operator for some help:

GAP: Welcome to GAP customer service. To check the status of an online order, say order status. To learn more about…

Me: Customer service.

GAP: …how to place an order, say place order…

Me: Customer service.

GAP: It seems that you’re trying to reach an operator, but let me repeat what you can do in order to speed up your service. To check the status of an online order, say…

Me: Customer service.

GAP: Hmmm, you seem to be trying to reach an operator. To hear the options you have, say options. If you’re sure you want to reach an operator, say agent queue.

Me: Agent queue.

Sigh. The first time I went through this, I accidentally said “customer service” at that last prompt, and the whole process started over; better not make any mistakes. At the coffee shop, at least one could have told the barista to shove it in a dark place, and the coffee would have been promptly served.

- Gummi